Happy New Year!

Happy New Year 2020!!!

Mikasa - Irresistible photo op. 

I've started the New Year off with a short motivational audio-book "UNFU*K YOURSELF" by Gary John Bishop. It was a recommendation from a friend and co-worker that I hadn't gotten around to, but sounded like a good book to start off the new year. It's worth the 3 and a half hour listen.

The book is full of some pretty insightful stuff and I would recommend it, especially if you are a procrastinator like me, or struggle with self doubt. Well really, I would recommend it to anyone that won't be overly offended by the occasional swear word.

One of my main takeaways from the book, is oddly something I've read somewhere else recently. An article, probably by the same author, about one of the keys to successful marriage. Not communication, though it is one of the main keys also, but the realization that there is a deficit between expectation and reality and it is the deficit that is a key cause of malcontent.

This really hit home because it makes so much sense! And it's more than just with marriage that it applies to. Any situation where we have a perceived idea of what it should look like, and the reality of it falls short, is a disappointment. Sometimes to the point that we can't be happy with the reality simply because the gap is so wide.

For a husband, this might be the 1960's version of marriage where the wife keeps the house spotless, has a hot meal on the table every night when he gets home from work, manages the children flawlessly, hosts guests impeccably and he simply gets to enjoy the fun aspects of life after work.

For a wife, this might be a more modern vision of working together as a team with her husband to divide the household management, children and hosting because both husband and wife have full time jobs.

Then reality sets in, and I'm pretty sure you can take it from there. It's when you can accept the reality for what it is, that you can relax. You don't have to agree with it to accept it, and you don't have to leave it the way it is.

This concept has definitely made me take a look at situations in a new light and really, I do feel better about them. I'd say that over the last few years I've been bogged down by my own expectations and it has impeded me from enjoying things as much as I would have liked or expected to (there's that word again). I think it will take practice, as anything worthwhile does, but I'm making progress already.

This is a good building block for some of the concepts that I mentioned previously on how perfectionism can be a road block for starting something, because if it can't be done perfectly why do it? Don't think about it, just do it! Every journey has to start somewhere, so just start and the momentum and motivation with follow.

Baby steps will continue to be a theme from last year, but not because I'm starting over. They are still relevant. One step forward is still progress, and a step back isn't the end. You can pick up from where you left off and move forward again.

My step forward today was to be productive while listening to my audio-book. With Bluetooth headphones engaged I worked on putting laundry away, straightening the living room, tasking my daughter with doing her chores and even set my new iRobot rumba in motion for the first time. (I have yet to make a judgement on it yet... I'll give it a few more runs before I decide if it cleans well enough to be a replacement for traditional cleaning or if it's just a supplement.)

I'll journal my reflections of 2019 sometime later today, and maybe come up with some plans for 2020. I don't think I'll call them resolutions this year, though a rose by any other name is still a rose.

I'm pretty happy with the outcome of 2019. I didn't get as much done as I would have liked because it was such a busy year, but my family and I made a plethora of new memories and progress was still made. I stumbled across some revelations that I think will help me in my journey forward and look more favorably on some things in the past.

So goodbye 2019 and hello 2020, not a fresh start but a continued journey forward. Enjoy the journey and don't get bogged down by unrealistic expectations. Just do it! Move forward one baby step at a time.