The Blah's
I think one of my biggest obstacles when it comes to getting things done and sticking with my goals is what I like to call the "Blah's". That period of time where you simply don't feel like doing anything at all. Sometimes you're just burnt out and want to be lazy and sometimes it's accompanied by a perpetual state of anger or depression that makes no sense.
Sadly, the trigger is usually something small and really just a drip in the ocean compared to what some waves should cause but don't. One of those triggers for me is a comment that leaves me feeling like the person thinks an idea of mine was idiotic, inconvenient, has some needless cost either in money (that suddenly shouldn't be spent on trivial things when any other day it's fine) or effort, or leads me to the conclusion that if it doesn't benefit them in any way I should feel guilty for even bringing it up.
I say "leaves me feeling", because honestly you can't really know the intentions behind what someone says 100%. Sometimes it's a hasty response during a moment when they are already tired and done with the day and all it holds and they have NO CLUE!!!! the impact the comment had on you.
Sometimes they just think you're being stubborn and don't want to listen so their instinct is to shut you down without realizing you weren't actually trying to argue with them. And even if they do realize it and apologize, the damage is done regardless.
By the way, a sweet... "Hope you get in a better mood" is usually the "No Clue" or "Doesn't want to deal with it right now" response. Either that or they're just stepping away to give you time.
Sometimes this triggered event results in an all out streak of productivity where I angry clean everything in sight. Other times it results in locking myself away and riding the wave until it passes, because it does. (Or a combination of the two) Then I pick myself back up and move on leaving it behind me and get back to work.
Sometimes it's just a matter of time and sometimes the person that triggered it will do something to make up for it and everything will be good again. They'll realize something is wrong and draw you into talking it out.
Whatever the cause and type of Blah's, they really put a crimp in my plans. The most common version, the one where I simply don't want to do anything, can last for weeks or even months with only doing the essentials. I like to use an excuse for that one too.
If I don't initiate it in some fashion, it doesn't get done. Whether the initiation is delegating it to my children or doing it myself. I don't feel as guilty adding to a mess because I know no one is going to come along behind me and clean it up for me. When it gets cleaned, I'll be the one doing the cleaning. Though really that just adds to the problem because in the end... it's an added thing that I need to take care of.
Sorry, I guess my blog today sounds more like a venting session than anything else.
Do I have a solution? No, not really. Ups and downs are pretty much just life and you have to learn how to roll with them in a way that works best for you. However this year, even when I'm in the Blah's I've started to continue with the little things. Throw away any trash that got left on my counters, table, floor or in the living room. Pick up the living room enough that it doesn't look like a dumping ground and make sure that dinner is on the "table" every night by 6:30.
If I walk by something small, take care of it right away. The big things will eventually get whittled down and if not I can tackle them when I need to or want to, whatever comes first. I love a clean house, but when you're the only one initiating the upkeep and everybody contributes to the down-keep it's pretty much an endless job.
My youngest is getting better. She knows she'll get grounded from electronics if she doesn't do dishes, her homework and read everyday after she gets home from school. We're on... week 2 i think and it has been going pretty well. The downside is she can't put all the dishes away so then my counters are full of a mix of small appliances, whatever and clean dishes. "Fantastic". But not having to nag her really has been fantastic.
I can't control them, but I can control me.
Sadly, the trigger is usually something small and really just a drip in the ocean compared to what some waves should cause but don't. One of those triggers for me is a comment that leaves me feeling like the person thinks an idea of mine was idiotic, inconvenient, has some needless cost either in money (that suddenly shouldn't be spent on trivial things when any other day it's fine) or effort, or leads me to the conclusion that if it doesn't benefit them in any way I should feel guilty for even bringing it up.
I say "leaves me feeling", because honestly you can't really know the intentions behind what someone says 100%. Sometimes it's a hasty response during a moment when they are already tired and done with the day and all it holds and they have NO CLUE!!!! the impact the comment had on you.
Sometimes they just think you're being stubborn and don't want to listen so their instinct is to shut you down without realizing you weren't actually trying to argue with them. And even if they do realize it and apologize, the damage is done regardless.
By the way, a sweet... "Hope you get in a better mood" is usually the "No Clue" or "Doesn't want to deal with it right now" response. Either that or they're just stepping away to give you time.
Sometimes this triggered event results in an all out streak of productivity where I angry clean everything in sight. Other times it results in locking myself away and riding the wave until it passes, because it does. (Or a combination of the two) Then I pick myself back up and move on leaving it behind me and get back to work.
Sometimes it's just a matter of time and sometimes the person that triggered it will do something to make up for it and everything will be good again. They'll realize something is wrong and draw you into talking it out.
Whatever the cause and type of Blah's, they really put a crimp in my plans. The most common version, the one where I simply don't want to do anything, can last for weeks or even months with only doing the essentials. I like to use an excuse for that one too.
If I don't initiate it in some fashion, it doesn't get done. Whether the initiation is delegating it to my children or doing it myself. I don't feel as guilty adding to a mess because I know no one is going to come along behind me and clean it up for me. When it gets cleaned, I'll be the one doing the cleaning. Though really that just adds to the problem because in the end... it's an added thing that I need to take care of.
Sorry, I guess my blog today sounds more like a venting session than anything else.
Do I have a solution? No, not really. Ups and downs are pretty much just life and you have to learn how to roll with them in a way that works best for you. However this year, even when I'm in the Blah's I've started to continue with the little things. Throw away any trash that got left on my counters, table, floor or in the living room. Pick up the living room enough that it doesn't look like a dumping ground and make sure that dinner is on the "table" every night by 6:30.
If I walk by something small, take care of it right away. The big things will eventually get whittled down and if not I can tackle them when I need to or want to, whatever comes first. I love a clean house, but when you're the only one initiating the upkeep and everybody contributes to the down-keep it's pretty much an endless job.
My youngest is getting better. She knows she'll get grounded from electronics if she doesn't do dishes, her homework and read everyday after she gets home from school. We're on... week 2 i think and it has been going pretty well. The downside is she can't put all the dishes away so then my counters are full of a mix of small appliances, whatever and clean dishes. "Fantastic". But not having to nag her really has been fantastic.
I can't control them, but I can control me.
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